THE TOOLSHED Read online

Table of Contents

  Table of Contents1

  THE TOOLSHED3

  Daunting Shadows Untouched Silence3

  After Future4

  Before past7

  Empty pages9

  In10

  Arizel11

  Enemies of the sun12

  The Forgotten14

  Future toy15

  The Rising18

  The oppositioner20

  Paralyze my mind21

  Doppelganger24

  Vasitven25

  God Player27

  Faith29

  Life of Death30

  Lonesome star34

  Here and beyond35

  Pair of walls37

  Heretofore38

  Ghostword39

  Once41

  The Gathering43

  Newborns44

  The hive of five46

  The emancipated49

  The obscure50

  Next brevity51

  The Living Machine52

  The god without devil54

  Toy World56

  Final Fate57

  out59

  The Return60

  The Toolshed62

  Mutilation63

  God bears no name64

  Paroxysm66

  The equal of time67

  The entity divine68

  Births & Deaths69

  Flashbacks70

  Winter father73

  Mind Mirror75

  White Crow78

  Black moon79

  The Kayle reborn80

  Eulogy81

  The Timebook of Clocks82

  Lion in the Toolshed83

  Atmi deception84

  Endmost85

  *The Diary of Devil*87

  BATTLE SKULLS99

  Epilogue104

  Author’s note:105

  THE TOOLSHED

  Daunting Shadows Untouched Silence

  to my wife and son

  By antim abhay

   

  Wave upon wave of demented Avengers march cheerfully out of obscurity, into the dream.

  -Roger Waters

    

   

  I walked into a hospital where none was sick and none was well.

  -Leonard Cohen

   

  There lives a poor painter who sees a painting every night in his dream. This recurring dream wakes him up in the middle of the night every time and he starts painting what he saw. But he always ends up making a new beautiful painting instead. This way, he paints one each day. He pines for gold but someone has made him promise that whatever happens he must not sell his paintings and he keeps his promise. He has become illusive because of ambiguity of this dream and his inability to create that one painting. Some know him from now, some have known him from centuries and some will never know him.

   

  The boy in the box said, "They'll search for me and if they find me I'll make their dreams come true but they won’t be happy for long and then they'd want me to leave but I won't until they love me."

  After Future

   

  He sat with elegance, holding the Sysandrian stone in one hand and grasping Arizel’s palm with other. The people and animals bowed and prayed. Both Arindhara as well as silent forest of dreams had found peace, hope and rest in his dominion. But he was not at peace with himself because he did not know where or how to find Vasitven and he knew all he could do was wait.

   

  When he and Arizel felt their death approaching they went to the Silent forest of dreams. They kept the Prophesier where it lay after he mingled it with the river of life. Then they put the book in the cradle and tucked it slowly between their sleeping twins. Bidding goodbye to the Astrologer, together they embraced death.

   

  When he opened his eyes he found that they were walking on a shore. Arizel’s foot caught onto something, she picked it up and was surprised to see it was a book. She started reading it as she strolled away from the shore with him. Suddenly she gave the book to him and said that this book looks like the Timebook of Clocks, but it is not. He nodded and said, “I know, this is the one made in the Toolshed when I was searching for you. We are in the place of which we dreamt. We are in Sysandria.

   

   

  The first Kayle reborn kneeling at the altar inside the temple of the Goddess of Sysandria, carefully listened as the priest’s words echoed, “After leaving your native bodies, you and Arizel came to Sysandria. A Kayle takes birth in Arindhara or in the Silent Forest of Dreams and can travel between Arindhara and the Silent Forest. There are some Kayles, the Elders, who took birth in Sysandria and are here since the beginning of time. Either a Kayle is a Kayle by birth, or becomes a Kayle. The Arindharans, after death, reach the Silent Forest and after some time go back to Arindhara to take next birth. This cycle continues until they become a Kayle and then the memories of all past lives returns to them. There can be only one pair of Kayles in Arindhara and the Silent Forest of Dreams. You were a Kayle by birth and Arizel turned, while she was in Silent Forest, but as soon as she became a Kayle, the Lion enslaved her. She thought she was fooling the Lion by sneaking out to search for other Kayles, but it was his will as he sought you too for his own malicious purposes. In the domes of Teargar Arizel met the Astrologer who knew all about Sysandria and Kayles. She started visiting him whenever she could and he told her everything he knew about Kayles. Astrologer gave her the Timebook of Clocks which was given to him by Kayles and he told her to find you.  Only Astrologer knows everything about Kayles and he passes the knowledge to his successor. He is the keeper of the Timebook of Clocks. Kayles want him to give the book to the new pair of Kayles existing in Arindhara.

   

  When a pair of Kayles is about to arrive in Sysandria two drops of tear fall from the eyes of the statue of their Goddess. One drop turns into a man and another into a woman. They have powers above all Kayles and they leave Sysandria. They are known as Vasitvens. But this time when you and Arizel arrived two drops of blood fell instead of tears. According to the prophecy the goddess will bleed on the arrival of first Kayle reborn." 

   Astrologer

  Astrologer to the Kayle

  I wish I could feel your demons

  I possess the maniac’s mirror as I promised

  Close your eyes and trust me

  I am the keeper of melodies

  Order of the other has been given

  The addicts are marching in unison

  Play the strings measure the deep memories

  One day you will write your own elegy

  The alone Arizel burns so bright

  Silent forest of dreams screams in the moonless night

  I am the keeper of the key

  Silent forest of dreams doesn’t possess any energy

  There love has no reservation

  Endless are these harbingers of thine

  The animals and trees are afraid of Rakhtavar the Lion

  If you will go to the existent half of the forest

  The Lion will transform you when you enter inside

  There everyone will possess numerous lies

  You will revolve in both the worlds till you escape

  Leave this grave and return to the everglades

   

   

  The truth is hidden from you

  For your mind cannot occupy it

  You may be alone or you may be known

  But all have almost same dream of home

  Taking birth as a human is a soul’s first life

  And the soul will always be born as a human

  Until the soul, encounters the unknown

  Then it will be able to take birth as any en
tity of its will

  And join them who lived like it in this world

  And rest in any of the universes’ realms

  For you to survive remembering is enough

  Your sins only delay your emancipation

  The king of the hidden kingdom waits for the one

  The one who took least time to get undone

  You muse about silent forest of dreams

  Where moon rises from the debris

  Delivering darkness over the day

  But you don’t remember it

  It lays in your long forgotten dreams

   

  ***

   

  Astrologer said, “An Arindharan will become commander of the army of Arizel which will be formed of good animals of the existent half of the Silent Forest.”

   

     

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

  Before past

  When I met Arizel she was the only one who knew what was happening with me. She told me things which no one ever did. Arizel resides in the Silent forest of dreams which is divided in two unequal halves by the endless river of life. The river being in a shape of digit eight, is surrounding the two unequal halves of the Silent forest of dreams, one barren and one green. This river is formed of many unequally distributed sections which flow in varying directions. We met for a few evenings in the domes of Teargar; she left me with a book in my hands, a book which no one had read in Arindhara. It was written by someone called Astrologer. Arizel and I didn't meet after that. I can only go to the barren half of the Silent forest of Dreams where Arizel cannot come. She resides in the fruitful half on the other side of the river of life. When I reach the bank of the river of life, I always find Arizel sitting and crying at the opposite bank near the edge of the other green existent half of the forest. When she sees me, her sorrow fades to a simper and we yearn to touch each other, we never had before in the Silent forest of dreams. Both of us have tried many times to swim across the river, but we could never succeed due to the different flowing sections of the river. I spent half of my life searching for the Astrologer and I found him. He told me many secrets of our universe. He shared with me the stories of the Silent forest of dreams. Astrologer revealed to me that I was a Kayle and Arizel too. Astrologer said before departing that I and Arizel belong to Sysandria. He did not write that book, he was just a keeper of the book which came from Sysandria. He also said," In the forest there is only one pair of each living thing, no humans save Kayles can exist in the existent half of the forest but Arizel is the only one there and enslaved by the Lion now after centuries you have come, a Kayle who took birth in Arindhara."

   

  Once, Arizel and me jumped together in the river and swam towards each other. We have done this before too but due to the different flowing sections of the river, we could never cross. But this time we both crossed the river and found ourselves lying on the opposite banks of the river. I signalled her to stay there and jumped again in the river to cross the river again, but the river threw me back at the same bank each time. Each time I jumped in the river, it took me farther away from Arizel who continuously ran along the bank following me. Arizel had once told me while she was in Arindhara that her power works only over the animals (except the lion) and the trees of silent forest of dreams, but against the river of life she was powerless. I remembered Arizel told me that she feared the lion who resided in her half of silent forest of dreams. The Lion never harmed her, but barred her from leaving the Silent Forest. All the entities of the Silent forest feared him. I decided to kill the lion. Fear gripped Arizel. She tried to stop me from entering the existent half of the silent forest of dream alone. I asked her to wait where she was and assured her to trust me and I entered the forest. She cried to me, ‘The lion of silent forest of dreams possess a treasure called the Prophesier. Comeback before the fruitful half of the forest transforms into a barren one.’ I entered the forest, but as soon as the fog ensnared me I got lost and my memories blurred. I searched and searched Arizel both in the Silent Forest as well in Arindhara but couldn’t find her. And when I rested I realized something was strange now in both the worlds. It wasn't the world which I knew. I couldn’t find Arizel until the end but I found Ghostword."

   

   

   

   

   

  Empty pages

  Arizel to Astrologer

  Life is like a silence voice is its death

  They move shoulder to shoulder

  But they never can go together

  The fading black darkness wakes the voice

  And the voice kills the silence infinite times

  Then in a dark tool shed

  Voice hears the screams of the silence

  At dusk silence starts getting shivers down its spine

  Justice done only for the first crime

   

   

  Just when the Sun returns to the cemetery

  Singing songs of his history

  The silence awakens the necropolis

  The keeper likes peace in his cemetery

  The keeper loved the songs

  But couldn’t relate them with his story

  It takes two for deliverance

  He hailed at voice without violence

  Music can’t exist without silence

   

   

  Sitting nearby under a fig tree

  The puppeteer brings back his memories

  He soon found the God’s ineffability

  Listening to songs of this cemetery

  He read the Timebook of clocks infinitely

  Finally swimming in the vast river of life

  He reached the immortal silent forest of dreams

  Twas divided in two halves; one barren and other green

  Where the Lion imprisoned him and blurred his memories

   

  In

  ***

  Arizel

  Astrologer to newborns of Arindhara

  When he woke up he hungered for forgotten poems

  Bewildered Arindharans stared at both of them

  They surrounded him when she was weak

  For hours she broke the clouds that hung over his cemetery

  He once fell in love with her without knowing her name

  She tried to tell him, “They are unaware when they push you

  They will never accept what they did against you,

  Entering their body animals make them do this to you

  If you blame them they will not believe you

  They don’t see what animals do to you.”

   

   

  He sought refuge in the doldrums without knowing her chastity

  Staring the darkness, sculptures he carved on a pale azured iron tower

  He suffused the darkness by the light of his chisel

  They buried him in a sepulchure

  The forest stank of water and camphor

  Their lanterns wouldn’t cast her shadow,

  So they followed a rainbow and found her shelter

  Tied to a tree her body bled bare

  Every time she was assailed, he wasn't unaware

  They set her free as they didn’t find her mellow.

   

   

  She dragged them to the nightmares of the lion kingdom

  She saw him again in the silent forest impeding the secret river

  She brought balance by slaughtering the souls;

  Of those who had locked him in the graveyard,

  Where the god as well as the devil has to die every single night

  Devil cheats and commits suicide before the dusk arrives

  Now she buys the bodies left behind after their demise

  She makes the souls, belonging to these bodies, one of his kinds

  The cry demanded they must thrive, forcing the e
ndless river to teach,

  It implored, “No mercy for traitor such as thee.”

   

  Enemies of the sun

  Newborns of Arindhara to animals of the Silent Forest of dreams

  When you see him come near

  You kill the light by deception

  Bride’s daughters sleep all night

  They pray for him in all fashion

  At dawn they see him turn blind

  At dusk every image of the day,

  Flash through his tired mind

  Only the daughters see him play

  For others all he does is whine.

   

   

  You lurk beneath his shadows

  He trusts your insanity in crime

  When his sword touches the sky

  Your blood will freeze eternally

  He’s the one who should not be

  Father will forgive you in time

  To reach him you shouldn’t try

  Dying will not get you an invite

  His truth is that death is a lie.

   

   

  Verses inside him stay unsung

  He failed to replicate it to real

  But he has escaped the heavenly sin

  You search about truth of death

  Darkness deceives the fate you had

  All souls return back to breathe

  You’ll understand more if you see

  When your little worlds clank

  He traps you in his somatic raiment.

   

   

  Architects of future gave him a diary

  He locked an endangered species in it

  Child of god gets no chance to fight

  His ego triggers the countdown

  The era of flying kites is long gone

  He can subdue the reign of calamity

  She pays the price to bring him home

  Believing one day he’ll till the ground

  She only deserves the winning crown.

  The Forgotten

   

  Animals of the Silent Forest of Dreams to the newborns of Arindhara

  His dream of defeating fate keeps him benign

  Few can dream a thing such unimaginable

  But his reality is as obvious as a sign

  In the day he flew like dragons in a fable

  His fire shielded his child from the night

  He feels bliss when she comes at the eventide

  She sings to their child and rocks the cradle

  He hides the black mask of light in her eyes,

  She borrows his masquerade of darkness

  In order to survive he takes away the child

  At dawn defeated he comes back to their stable

  Finding her gone he cries which puts the child to sleep

  Then he marches inside the dark forest to find her.

  Future toy

  Astrologer to Arizel